Cold War Spaghetti

The term Cold War typically refers to periods in history where superpowers endure geopolitical animosity without engaging directly in kinetic operations against each other. One such point in time was the span between 1985 and the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991.

This recipe just happens to highlight ingredients from America! And Russia ☹.

What you'll need:

- Tomato paste and sauce. I used 'Contadina'...I think it's Italian. They always pretend they're neutral, but everyone knows better.

- Beef. This is shaved steak because what's more American than that!

- Russian vodka. The reasons for using vodka from Russia should be abundantly obvious to the most casual of observers (It’s something they do really, really well). So, if you're using Popov in your recipe: 1) We can't be friends anymore. 2) It's made in Connecticut, which is over 1,000 Square miles smaller than Cochise County, where we live. We don't make clogs in Arizona, they shouldn't make vodka. 3) If you're on a budget and must use Popov, feel free to substitute isopropyl alcohol or lighter fluid. * Don't actually try that at home.

- Fresh squeezed Grapefruit and Cranberry juice. This is where half the vodka goes, because this sauce takes a couple of hours to do right and I get bored easily.

- Fresh Garlic and Red Bell Pepper. Since there's no bacon in this recipe, I made up for it with extra Garlic.

- Fresh Rosemary, Oregano, and Sweet Basil.

- Celery Seed, Fresh cracked Pepper, pink Himalayan Salt, and just a pinch of Roasted Saigon Cinnamon. (Somewhere between your Aunt pinching your cheek and you pinching your sibling on the back of the arm when they're not looking).

- Tuscan Reserve Blend cheese. Despite the romantically foreign sounding name, it's actually made in Wisconsin.

Making it happen:

- Take a before picture...of your kitchen because it's probably going to be wrecked by the time you get done.

- Squeeze the grapefruit; add half the vodka and all the Cranberry juice. Sip.

- This part is important and was shared with me by Vinny of Vinny's Pizza lore (may he rest in peace): Fry the paste in extra virgin olive oil until it's just a little burnt. Add the sauce.

- Caramelize the onions in KerryGold butter, brown sugar and honey. I also fried the Garlic in butter to mellow that otherwise sharp bite.

- Add the listed seasoning. I usually end up tossing in some Cayenne Pepper and Celery Salt, too.

- Add the other half of the vodka. If the sauce is too thick as it simmers down, add some wine. I prefer a nice red.